Summer is Over

Time to update once again. I don't do this as often as I like but I try.

August: I really don't remember much of August except I went to Toronto for work and had one of my best friends come visit me. I also bought a new car...mazda 6 like I said I would. I really like my car but not the car payment.

September: This month came and went very quickly. I swear I blinked and it was over. I went backpacking in September and that was a blast. Imagine hiking for miles and not seeing a single soul. It was nice to look up and see a bunch of stars and not much else. I was also able to go down to Champaign IL for recruiting. I stayed for a football game and got to see a lot of my friends...ross, eric, lisa, tom.....good times. I also got to see my family before I took off back to Philly.

October: We're only two days into October and not good. I am officially sick and my marathon is next weekend. I hope to sit on this couch and feel better tomorrow. I can't afford to be sick. I need to properly taper and then dominate this marathon.

Other than that, not much else is going on. I haven't been too thrilled about work lately and been working way too much. My fantasy football times also suck this year. Brett Favre is horrible and the Packers lost to the bears. I hope I feel better soon.

Later,

Bobby

An Update is Necessary

June:

Officially moved to my new place. I really like it and refer to it as "the mansion". We have a lot of space and the commute is a lot better.

Went to Canada fishing...amazing. I had a blast. I love going every year just to get away from life. Most people haven't seen that much forest and so little pavement/concrete. It's great. I even caught a 37" Silver Northern Pike. It is the biggest fish of my life.

July:

Went gokart racing for the first time in a long time. It was a 1/3 mile paved asphalt track aka Grundy County Fairgrounds. The object of the game was to push my brother around the track so we could get 1, 2, finish. We ended up getting a 2, 3 finish. I was faster but I knew my role was to push him around. This track is a "Superspeedway" for gokart racing....drafting...drafting...drafting.

Other Highlights:

I have been running a lot. I did 16.5 miles today. It was very difficult and reminded me that I have a long way to go if I am going to cross that finish line on October 17. I could probably make it but not in the time I want.

I went on two dates with this lovely lady named Stephanie. I like her in all but the jury is still out.

I am in serious pursuit of a new car. I was thinking camaro until I discovered they don't offer zero percent financing AND reality is that's not the smartest purchase I could ever make. Instead, I am thinking of the mazda 6. Yea, I know it's a big swing but I know from a rational point of view it's the right choice. As soon as next weekend I could have a new car.

I have some friends coming in a couple of weeks so that will be pretty sweet. We're going to NYC.

I'm really trying to be a older, mature person. It's not easy. I am still working pretty hard, but I think a car payment will help. I can't just go blow some cash at the bar. My current car doesn't have the following: fully functional seatbelts, A/C, 4wd, fully functional windows. It needs an oil change and a new sticker. It treated me good for 8 years so I can't complain.

Later,

Bobby

Summer is here

Howdy,

So it's been awhile and a lot has gone down.

Vegas was a blast. I spent/lost a lot of money.

I got my braces off. This is a good thing.

I started running again. I'm shooting for a 8 mile run tomorrow.

Work is keeping me very busy...60+ hours per week.

I am moving...switching towns. My buddy from CO is moving to PA and we're going to be living together.

It's bittersweet because I don't mind where I am living now other than the drive.

There's no drama in my life right now...everything seems kind of blah...just going to keep working and keep running.

I am going to Canada in a few weeks to go fishing. I can't wait! I'll be in the middle of nowhere for a whole week.

That's about it.

Later,

Bobby

Blogging During Halftime

So I figured since Butler is giving Duke a run for their money, I would fit in a post.

Things are good. I'm not stressed about anything. Easter weekend at home was fantastic...fish fry/crawfish boil, shooting, eating, going to the local bars...it was good to get back to my roots.

This weekend I am going to Chicago (yeah I know), but I am not going to Morris. My buddy Jason is coming in from NC and we are going to have a ton of fun. I'm also going to see my good friends Joel and Alicia. I am looking forward to it, but after this trip, I am only going to IL once in May and then I am done for awhile. I want to see things around here and I don't have the urge to go home right now. I need to spend some time around here.

Really thats about it. 10 days until Veags. We all know what's going to happen there.

Later,

Bobby

(It's Over)^2

So its time for an update...

On March 12, 2010, my grandma passed away. It was a tough ordeal. My great aunt, my grandma's sister, got in from England hours before she passed. On that Thursday, it was bad but everyone thought she would make it to the next day, in which I would be in Chicago by 7:30am. She did not. I was the only one not there for what they call the moment. There are two points of view on this obviously...to be there or not. Considering it was only grandma and I there when grandpa went, I'm ok with missing this moment. I know how it went. Watching people die is not something I want to get good at.

So after death comes the service. We had it on the Sunday even though it was a short few days, it would give more people to come compared to a weekday. It was a nice service. Again, I gave a euolgy...not something I want to get good at, but for some reason, I am. It was very difficult. I had to do it. No one else could. I'm not going to lie; I kind of enjoy those tough times and challenges where it is up to "Bobby" to pull through, although this is not the ideal challenge.

So after the funeral comes dealing with the estate. Guess who is in charge? Yes, Bobby...Bobby is the one...Bobby can handle it all. The truth is, yes I can. I can put my petty issues on the side for things more important than myself. I find it easier to deal with other people's problems simple because you don't have your own emotions wrapped in the problem. Just saying. One thing I will say is I am grateful for all the people who came.

I spent 6 days total at home. That's the most I've been home in one time span since my grandpa was sick (2.25 yrs ago).

On Thursday, I arranged a ride back up to the burbs to check on my apt and see Rachel. As usual, it was good to see her but things were different this time. For one, I knew she was kind of seeing someone. No big deal I thought, she usually goes out with a guy once or twice and that's it. When my ride dropped me off she wasn't there because she was off somewhere with this guy. I went for a walk and sat in the park waiting for her to tell me she's back.

We went and saw copout. It was ok but I wanted to see the brooklyn movie, whatever it is called.

We got back and went inside to talk. We were in her bedroom when she went to the bathroom. While she was in there, I made her bed like I do every time I go over there. I can't deal with a messy bed. This stems from my grandma making my bed for me every time I stayed the night and making sure my bed was made when she came over. Anyway, while I was making the bed, I noticed a men's watch on the other side of the bed on the night stand. Talk about a dagger...my heart was done for right then and there. I knew there was no future with Rachel. I realized right then and there that it was "time" to wake up and smell the roses...all because of that watch (what irony). Rachel gave me a ride home against my will (I wanted to walk). The whole time thinking what the fuck am I doing. When we got to my place she told me I looked sad...no shit. I told here I thought she was a special person and asked her if she knew I would do anything for her. She understood. I gave her a hug debating or not if I should ever contact her again.

That night, sitting alone in my buffalo grove apt, thinking about all kinds of stuff, I realized that I don't want to be alone, but also know I won't be "not alone" with Rachel.

I got on the 6am flight the next day back to Philly. I paid my $157.00 parking expense and spent the rest of the day getting my knee checked out and going for a bike ride. I bet I rode around 30 miles. It was such a nice day.

Yesterday I worked out, played basketball and grilled out with the roommates. It was good bonding time. I was pretty tired from all the exercise and proceeded to watch Forrest Gump, my most favorite movie.

It was upon watching this movie I had a few revelations. It was surprising how much Forrest and Jenny's relationship was similar to Rachel's and mine. I'm always going to be there for her. I am going to write to her like I d now in the future and just like Forrest, one day I might get a response. Rachel and Jenny are free spirits. Forrest and I may be stupid but we know what love is. Would I like to see Rachel again, I think so. I'm going to leave it up to her when the next time is. I'll be home for easter and the weekend after easter. I'll write to her and let her know, but I don't expect a response. She will always be in my heart and I will always be there for her, but I will let her go and come as she pleases.

So how to deal with all this...easy...no more plans. This way, I can't get mad when plans fail because there is no plan. I have one goal for today and that is to do my taxes. That's it. So far, I've been outside blogging and enjoying what is now my third cup of coffee outside. Its really nice out here. I'm going to take it one day at a time. No pressure, no worries. I'm 25. I have 5 more years to decide what I want to do when I grow up. If I think I'll end up alone, I won't because I will go live with Ross or Joel. Someone will take me because I can pay rent and they love me.

Some other things I would like to document at this time:

My brother finally got a job. Its not great but at least he's working. Maybe someday he can pay back all the money he owes big buck Bob.

I might have a second date with Haley. Haley is someone who I met online and had a pretty good first date. She returns my calls and texts. If a woman does that, she is a winner in my book. She is really nice. She is a chemist. I love chemistry. We're nerds. She is pretty. I am keeping expectations low. Stay tuned.

This week I have my review with my boss.

My flight is booked for Vegas. It's going to be awesome. That's all I will say for now.

The reason I blog is because I want to look back years from now and see what I was doing. My grandma told me to do it and I do whatever she tells me. I don't blog so my 3 followers and the anonymous fourth (I know you) can see my dirty laundry. If my family read this, I think I would not blog in so much detail.

Mrs. Amy Dixon, thank you for reading my blog. When are you going to post again?

Later,

Bobby

PS:

1. In the past few weeks, I have had zero desire to drink. I had three beers this weekend and that's it. I think this is impressive.

2. We don't have special relationships. We have relationships with special people. That's what I think anyway.

Today is the day

Right now, I am on the road. I just passed Sandusky Ohio. I'm driving back for what may be the last time I get to see my grandma. She's not supposed to have much longer to go.

If ypu look back at my previous blogs, this has been going on for a few months now. I don't mean this in a bad way, but I want it to be over. I want the suffering to be done.

The reason to drive instaed of flying had to do with money. I have no idea when I'm going back to PA so this was the best way to have control of my ability to get back on my terms.

Last night was brutal due to the weather. Driving 40 mph in the snow at night was not fun. I should have stopped earllier but I didn't. I want to get through PA which I did. Now, I'm going 80 on 80, listening to some Louis Armstrong. He's a cool cat.

I did completely move into my new temporary home. Its working out ok except I have a 45 min drive for 20 miles. Its sad, but I'm hoping that the weekend fun is worth it.

I signed up for the cincinatti and chicago marathons even though I have a knee injury. I can bike, do the elipical, but it kills to run. I'm thinking I'm going to the doctor to make sure I don't have a seriouis issue. I need to run. I love to run.

Work is going good I guess. My boss tells me I'm doing a good job, but I'm bored mentally. The main thing for me is learning how to lead people in kaizen. As I branch out into different groups I take it easy in the first kaizen so I can get to know them.

I'm still chasing her. I sent her flowers for v-day and saw her last time I was home. I'm hoping I can see her sometime in the next 8 days. Someday she's going to realize she passed up the best thing that ever happened to her. Someday I hope I realize I'm an idot for chsing her for so long. Its weird how unpredictable the future is. I'm still looking but haven't found anyone quite like her. Listen ladies, things would be a lot easier if you would decide one way or another. Guys are some of the dumbest animals alive. You already know this.

Eric, one of my bff's still in college, finally got a job offer. I'm very happy for him.

Ross and I are going to Vegas sometime in April. Its been something we've been talking about for over a year and now is the time to do it. We don't want to have any regrets and 5 years from now say "we should have gone to Vegas".

This is life of me. Working, doing a good job...watching my grandma die and planning to go to Vegas. I can't wait until some things work themselves out. I want things to be simpler. Work, workouit, and go on adventures. That's what I want. "You can't always get what you want..."

280 miles left to go...80 on 80.

I'm ok. My world is a lot better than most. I'll survive this ordeal, but things will be different once gma is gone. She's my hero. I just have to keep going, do what she would tell me to do. Even once she's gone, she still be with me.

With all this going on, I've not been drinking much. This is good. I need to focus on other things besides PBR and shots. This will get easier as it gets warmer.

So that is everything basically. I didn't win the megamillions last night. I'm going to keep playing til I do.

Later,

Bobby

Let's talk

Here's what's going down:

First and foremost, we have to talk about last weekend. I went to Atlantic City (AC) with someone from work. I had a great time. I can't describe on here how great I felt gambling, dancing, and getting drunk.

The night started out slow. I hit up the blackjack table where I was playing for 15 bucks per hand and then they raised it to 25 min bet. I thought this was steep but I was in AC on a Saturday night. The guys next to me quickly realized I was a rookie and it was in their best interest. I learned a lot and I was up as much as 350 at the peak. In less than an hour from that time, I was down 300 bucks. Ouch is right. I couldn't believe that I did this. Maybe the free drinks had something to do about it.

After I lost my $$, we went in the club. It was amazing inside. It was really nice and there were a lot of very good looking ladies. I knew I hit the jackpot here...who cares about the tables lol! I quickly hit the dance floor and all I am going to say is I had a great time.

It was 1Am or 2Am when we decided to leave the club. My buddy was a little too tipsy to drive so I had the great idea to go to the roulette table. I took 300 out of the ATM and placed it all on red. I won...it was the best ending of the night we could hope for.

Also, this weekend, I hurt my leg running. I woke up on Saturday morning and my leg felt a little funny, but I decided to run anyway. Big mistake. It hurts to walk right now.

I also moved 2 carloads of stuff into my new place. I have a lot more to move and have to find someone to help me move my bed and dresser. I am going to try to do it this weekend.

I booked my next flight to Chicago already. Valentines Day weekend I will be home. It's going to be interesting. I have a plan and will tell you how it goes later.

Next week I am going down to UIUC to recruit. We haven't received a lot of resumes so I am worried about how it is going to go.

What else.....

I am rooting for the Saints this weekend. I learned to play Rummy over the weekend.

I can't think of anything else to say. If I do, I will let you know.

Later,

Bobby